Numb

Lately I'm feeling quite numb, I don't know what to do, I feel like I'm stuck and at times I just wish everything would become easy, just for once.
I'm pretty restless, once I'm awake I can't go to sleep anymore (or atleast not a descent sleep).
There are so many things that I want to do that 24 hours in a day just seem too short.
Besides that things aren't working out as I would like. I want to go to college, but money still seems like a big problem (yay for the most silly laws around). Also something I thought that wasn't a problem anymore, now seems to be one of the biggest ones I have.
Selfesteem. I know it's silly and it was fine untill two or three weeks ago and just all of a sudden I slipped back in to the most negative thought about myself and about what I do.
If I looked in the mirror a month ago I could think "Well I'm looking good today" now I only think " Ugh the fat around my hips really ruins my waistline" "I look huge" etc etc.
I don't know why I suddenly got this again, I really don't.
Sometimes I just feel like crying, out of the blue voor no obvious reason, I don't understand myself at these times.
Little things piss me off so much more than they normal do. I feel like I could punch someone in the face so much easier than I used to.
I think holding everything for myself for years and years is (again) starting to pay itself off.
And now this afternoon I read that my favorite band might quit.
Yes yes it's just they "might" but it's enough to make me worried. If they quit I'll cry harder than all these Harry Potter fans did at the end of the last movie !