What Kurt Cobain Means To Me

Yesterday, 17 years ago they found Kurt Cobainn lead singer and songwriter from the band Nirvana, dead in his Lake Washington home. That day I was only 2 years 3months and 5 days old. This man became a cultfigure, a status for the ever alternative scène and a sort of che guevarra like figure for the poppy fashion industry. Today I want to write about what this person in general has ment to me, what suicide does to you environment and how you can become immortal by just being who you are.

Okay I have to admit, I do not own any Nirvana cd (yet). I can sing along with songs like Rape Me, Smells Like Teen Spirit, Where Did You Sleep and so on. I'm not going to say I'm a super fan of this band, even a fan is a wrong word I think, I like their music but I'm not into the whole stuff around it. What I did wanted to write down, what was on my mind after reading a whole lot of "what Kurt Cobain ment to me" kind of articles, this man. No matter what music he made, how his life was. This single man has opened so many doors to young people and even now when he is dead he still does.

I remember going to my first art school litteraly translated the it was called " The Arthighschool" Well for me it was anything BUT art. Art people were suppossed to be anti mainstream people, people with their own vision on things, expressing yourself, be whatever you want. Instead of that mentality I got into the "OMG alternatives and goths are such stupid people and they should all die and ladiedah" for 3months I felt all alone in that school. Untill there was a new kid, the guy was "emo" like they liked to label him. In no time he became my best friend and this all because of Nirvana. We made an assignment for dutch on Kurt Cobain and we connected on a level that was arty and our teacher dutch was like "omg, you guys know nirvana? you made the most excellent choice from all my students" from that day on that teacher also cared more about us I think than she did about other students. Anyway Kurt and Nirvana made it for me that my two years on that school were bearable, they gave me friends on a place where I had given up all hope to find some.

Than earlier this week they also made me realise that my hero is just only human to. Kurt Cobain was one of his biggest inspirations, the one that made him realise he could do everything, that you didn't need to have musical knowledge to produce good music. He even made a little movie about it, after he did the most possible to transform himself into Kurt Cobain. When I saw that little piece of videography I got tears in my eyes. The little extract of text he wrote with it was so touching.
I heard today was the day Kurt passed away 17 years ago. Can’t believe it’s been that long. So grateful for his contribution and inspiration. Not sure I’d be doing this if it weren’t for him. He gave us all permission to create no matter what our skill set and reminded me that dreams are possible. Thanks for that. This made me recall a short piece of film I shot when I heard they were making a film celebrating his life. I made it to explore the character and explore creative possibilities. I never sent it to the studio or to anyone but thought I’d share it now… - Jared Leto

I wish I could only just say to him that what Kurt ment to him, is what he means to me. Without reducing Kurt his legendaryness to nothing.
I get goosebumps when I watch it, tears when I hear him sing. He manages to move me, something not alot of people can do.




And about suicide, I now happen to have a few friends who all have to deal with someone they know passing away, with the decision made by themselves.
It almost looks like there's something in the air, never have I heard it about so many people at once, on top of that I just heard that there was also a shooting in a dutch mall with the unsub killing 6 people and himself. It makes me think about that movie The Happening, where something in the air makes people kill themselves just out of the blue.
I'm glad I haven't had someone in my close and select company who has made that descision. I tend not to bound very quickly and not easily let people in to protect myself of getting hurt that way. I'm so afraid of losing the people I love that I live my life to safe.